We’ve all been in an argument where we are so sure we’re right. We’ll go to great lengths to stand our ground and prove that we are right and our partner is wrong. News flash, this is not helpful for our relationships. Learn the tools to defuse a situation where you or your partner thinks they are right and an argument begins.

In this episode we discuss relationship advice topics that include:

  • Recognizing that when we argue we often go away from the content of the argument and go toward feelings.
  • How to go beneath the content of an argument to discover the trigger for the conflict.
  • Why arguments often begin with the relationship we have with ourselves and not our partner.
  • How to wait and have a productive conversation when we’re not in an escalated emotional state.
  • Validating your partners feelings to have a productive conversation and create a stronger relationship.
  • And much more!

Ellen Gendelman is a psychotherapist and professional coach who specializes in working with relationships. She cherishes her own roles as wife, mother and grandmother. A veteran educator and motivational speaker, she has a passion for helping people grow and maximize their potential. Ellen is excited to have recently authored her second book ‘When Ice Cream Is Not Enough.’

Sign up for our 14 Day Happy Couples Challenge here: 14 Day Happy Couples Challenge

Do you want to hear more on this topic? Are you and your partner struggling with always being right? If so, you’re not alone. Continue the conversation on our Facebook Group here: Love Tribe


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Lovelands: Lovelands is a highly readable guide to creating the relationship and life you most deeply desire, by psychologist Dr Debra Campbell.

If you’ve ever wondered why you keep going wrong in love and how to make lasting change for the better — Lovelands will show you how to make that change, not just in your relationship but in every area of your life.

Get your copy of Lovelands today — available in hardcover, Amazon and Audible.

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah

Ellen’s Daily Tool

Understand that the root of love is ‘to give’. Often we think, “wait till we feel in the mood” to show acts of love and kindness. However, if both partners focus on how they can give to each other, then the quality of the relationship won’t be measured by who gets more. It will reflect that the acts of giving produce more love.

Relationship Advice Resource’s

When Ice Cream Is Not Enough

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Hold Me Tight   

Advice for Newlyweds

The more whole you get yourself, the more mature your relationship will become. When you are being honest, authentic, and self aware then the love in your relationship will grow.

Advice for Single Listeners

Work with yourself, and know who you are. Know what your most important values are to share with a life partner. Keep in mind your long term goals and work on finding compatibility in a partner.

Episode Links

Ellen’s Website

Ellen’s Email

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah